This babe of ours has loved music since she could wiggle within me. Some would suggest she had hiccups but I know she was keeping rhythm. Without fail her movements consistently matched particular songs or musicians. For instance, she loves the music of our dear friend, the extraordinary songstress Cori Connors. I loved sitting through Cori’s Christmas concert last winter, feeling within me the babe’s response to her whole souled performance.
Or there were the several times I taught the children in our stake that Doctrine is truth that points us to Jesus Christ. To practice seeking these truths, we’d identify statements as we’d sing I Am A Child of God. Without fail, this babe of mine would “leap within my womb” as I’d sing this song. On one occasion, I shared her movement with the children in the room. One perceptive and wise 5 year old responded: your baby loves the doctrine.
Here she is now, three full months old today, and this little angel of ours has demonstrated her moves as she dances to music every day. It’s the most extraordinary thing to see her move and acknowledge: I know exactly what the motion feels like!
More than that, I love her joyful expression, the motion of her passion.
She still loves Cori’s music and has added to her repertoire a love for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (particularly their Primary music) and Mindy Gledhill (just to name a few). This morning our little dancer was laughing and singing to each song on Mindy’s Anchor album. As I sang along the lyrics:
Oh, I’ve loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It’s not about your scars
It’s all about your heart
I told the babe; you don’t have scars. and it struck me once again. God has trusted me with this perfect spirit. Oh how I want to protect her in every important way…guard her and custom fit her armor so she can be a good steward. I want her to know the power of the atonement in healing every wound she’ll incur in her mortal experience. It’s inevitable. It’s necessary.
Then I told her mama has a scar to remember you by. Every time I see it I’ll remember you came from deep within me. Immediately, a favorite passage came to my heart and mind. The tears began to flow:
Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the [daughter] of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.
Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.
I don’t want to forget. Ever. Yes. The perfected Christ has retained scars so that I can remember that He knows and loves me. He has ransomed me and made way for my return. He’s retained scars to ensure that He is recognizable to you and to me.One day he will permit me to thrust my hands into his wounds and bathe his feet in my worshipful tears of gratitude. Likewise, He’s allowed me to retain scars as a symbol of his redemption- a literal mark of his saving grace. My wounds are bound up by him and him alone.
I’m grateful for the lessons of mortality, manifest in the flesh. I love this purple scar across my womb – a symbol of her as a type of Him. And a call to be like him as I carefully guide her on her path of discipleship. Like my daughter, I feel this rhythm deep within me – the song of redeeming love.